What I've learnt in 2007

So I'm at home sick and waiting for the 'flu meds' to kick in. Whenever I'm online I check out a few peoples blogs and while I was visiting Sickamore's blog I came across this post (what I learnt in 2007). It inspired me to do my own. So here goes:


Carol/Tso/Cazmo/Black Porcelain/Ms Mashigo

Singer, songwriter, writer, Radio presenter & producer

December 18

In bed (Cape Town, South Africa)


21:45 pm



- Slow is beautiful. I used to run through breakfast, work, learning how to play the piano etc. This year I found the joy in experiencing every moment of what I'm doing. I have learnt to be PRESENT in every moment of my life, so I can be the best me I can be at every moment of my life.


- No matter what I do, there will always be someone who does not like it/me. I got a job that someone elses was not very well at (I didn't ask for it, I just got it) . Instead of looking at themselves that person turned their anger toward me. No matter what you do, how well you do it or how good your intentions are. There will ALWAYS be someone who think you are 'scum of the earth', so do what you want to do for you and no one else.


- I underestimate myself way too much. This year I changed jobs, got a 'promotion' in less than 6 months of starting my new job, doubled my income, made the nay sayers eat their words, wrote 3 new songs (by myself) on the piano (that I only started playing less that 2 yrs ago). I don't underestimate myself anymore!!

- I can have a good time without drinking. At varsity I used to drink a WHOLE lot, but outside of that environment I have really moved away from that.


- This is STILL a mans world. Intelligent women still don't have their power. Booty shaking and being someones 'woman' is still what counts. Capable singers have to resort to being naked to be respected and men can look as shabby as shabby as they want and they still get respect.


- Never have sex or try to have sex when you are NOT READY for it. Things work so much better when you are ready. Sex is so much more than getting naked with someone... SO SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Sex starts with you: what you say to yourself, how much you value yourself and being responsible for your own actions.


- Gratitude is POWERFUL! Being grateful for what you have EVERYDAY makes you see how much you really have and it also opens you up for more blessings.


- Preventing the spread of HIV has very little to do with education and everything to do with people's attitudes. Too many young WOMEN who are very educated are STILL dying from HIV/AIDS.


- I believe that we have let the youth down in a very bad way. Just switch on your TV, radio, go on the Internet or listen to what kids are saying. I'm not saying that I am old and wise but I am saying that these kids are confused and there is a lot of work that WE ALL need to do to 'rescue' the youth.


- No matter how good you think you are as a president, if you alienate your team they will not vote for you again. Leaving the people that you are leading in total confusion.


- I live in a beautiful, but equally sad country.


- I LOVE my life!

I think that's it...

They send it, I post it

So the other day on this post I was complaining that my friends wont send me pics that I can;t put on my posts, then a lovely young lady sent me a picture.

Now my friends are ALL very beautiful, smart and like I said before they are 'ride or die' women, so below is a photo of a few of the women who make this life SOOOOO much more fun and easier to live.

From L- R: AK (Team Captain), random I don't know, Stevie (that is not her real name), Dumisa-the-hotness-without-a-shirt, Phi. LOVE IT!!!

Pic above compliments of my girl Phi who recently celebrated her birthday. LOVE YOU GIRL!!!

Me and Zoey (it was on my birthday this year at Noordhoek beach- FUN TIMES)

Em (with her back to the camera), Jess (trying to take a bite out of my SEXY...) and me (drinking wine out of a champagne glass).

To my other friends: SEND THE PICS and I PUT THEM UP. I'm very proud of all of you.

I didn't get the memo

So there I was playing on the Internet at my favourite spot: YouTube... Yes I play there and soon I might even start posting bits and pieces from the 'making of (insert any name here for now- I don't have a name for the EP yet)'... No promises, because you know I'm not really technologically advanced.

BACK TO THE MEMO I DIDN'T RECEIVE. My MOST FAVOURITEST song on Mr John's 'Once Again' is Another again. The whole CD is amazing but that one is the one that I can listen to OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER... So you can imagine my surprise when I found that it has a video. Hmmm!!!

WHY am I ALWAYS the last to know these things?? Oh well. Here it is:

Back from Jozi

I spent Thurs, Fri and Sat in Jozi and now I'm SOOO exhausted.

Tomorrow is a 'public holiday' and I am working. I hate getting to work and the building is deserted, although that's pretty much how it's going to be for the rest of the month. DARN IT!!! One day when I can afford to take a holiday I'm going to do it... I mean REALLY do it! Go somewhere far away, see the sites, see the places where 'tourists' don't go, flirt with men who don't speak any of the languages I speak, eat exotic food, get sick because exotic food is too much for my stomach, buy loads of stuff, do everything I possibly can in those few day, enjoy the scenery, take LOADS of pictures and ENJOY being away from home and work for a few days... One day soon....

I am feeling very inspired and everyday I am taking steps that are bringing me closer to my 'vision'. Over the past few days the vision has grown like you wont believe. It almost seems too big to be done over night and I'm willing to work very hard for however long it takes to make it all come true.

I have so much to share, but not enough energy to put it all down. SIGH!! Have too much work to do anyway...

BE BLESSED!

The best of 2007 Part 1

Okay, so I realised that yesterday's post made 2007 seem a little sad. This year has been and continues to be AMAZING. I have grown so much and have learnt so much about myself.
So I'm going to share some of the things that have gotten me through the year.

NOT ON THE LIST BECAUSE IT JUST WOULDN'T BE FAIR: MARCEE




I really don't know how else to explain how wonderful it is to know that regardless of what I have or haven't done there is someone who LOVES me and BELIEVES in me. Having Marcia in my life is incredible. If I didn't love men so much I would seriously marry her, because that's how much I love her. Me and my fellow nerd are about to take the world by storm. WATCH OUT WORLD!!


Now I can begin with the list


1. John Mayer's Continuum album


Wow!! When I first heard 'waiting on the world to change' I had no idea he was the 'your body is a wonderland' guy. I wasn't a fan of that song nefore, but now I even play it on my show sometimes. 'Waiting on the world to change' is a great track , but I enjoy the message more than I do the 'music'. This whole album was like a great conversation with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. I LOVE LOVE it. It's actually my driving music at the moment (I decided to give 'Finding Forever' a rest). This album manages to lift me when I need it or let's me cry when I need it too.

John's SOOO got that hot 'sulky artistic white boy thing' going in that pic. HEY JOHN LET'S GET TOGETHER AND DO A REALLY KICK ASS SONG LOL!!! CALL ME!!!

My absolute favourite songs off this album... That's a tough one, but I think I will go with 'Vultures', 'Stop this train', 'Gravity' and 'I'm gonna find another you'. WHAT AN AMAZING ALBUM. Did I mention that the man blogs as well? So, occasionally he lets you have a peak into the sometimes incomprehensible world of John Mayer. Nice.

2. A new phone. HALLELUYER!!!!



It's a Samsung L760. After carrying around my beloved brick (Nokia 3510i), it was really time to get a new phone. I am very scared of technology so this was a big step for me. I feel so much better knowing that my phone wont die as soon as it rings. And I find people don't look at me funny when I pull out my phone and read an sms, as opposed to trying to guess what it says because there is a solid line in the middle of your screen from when you dropped your phone in varsity ha ha ha ha ha.


3. The fam






No I do not think that the phone is less important than the fam. NEVER!!! I just happened to put them in this order. I talk to my family members at least 5 times a week. They have gone from expecting me to be who they thought I should be to completely trusting that I will not F$#& up. They support me, even when they don't understand why I do the things I do. I'm TRULY BLESSED. I will try and get pics of all of them together. (I'll try to get my dad to smile)



4. Meeting Dr John F Demartini



I am not exaggerating when I say that things could have gone VERY wrong this year had I not met Dr Demartini. I was truly READY to meet him and HEAR what he had to say. Had it been at any other time of my life I would have laughed it all off and carried on 'wasting my life'.


After meeting this incredible man I got my A into G, bought 3 of his books and started LIVING the BEST life right NOW. Thanks Dr Demartini, you will never know how RIGHT the time, message and EVERYTHING was when we met. You know what's so weird, he always looks like he does in that picture. Smiling that content smile of his.


5. Working at Radio 2000


This has been one of the most interesting, fulfilling and challenging jobs that I have ever done. Admittedly there was a little bit of drama, but what is life without a bit of hardship? I have met some REALLY amazing people through this job. I am on air 6 times a week on national radio station and I really can't complain about that. I LOVE MY JOB (even when things get rough)!!!

WE NOW HAVE STREAMING AUDIO, SO NO MORE EXCUSES FOR NOT LISTENING!!!!


6. John Legend





Ever since Marcee called me and told me to switch on the radio because this 'really nice song is on' and I heard 'Girl I'm in love with you..." I WAS SOLD!!! Like the other John (Mayer, not Demartini) I could listen to this man's music FOREVER. A lady I used to work with once asked me if I 'never get tired of listening to the same song' (the song in question was 'so high') and I answered NO.


When 'Once Again' came out I was one of the first to buy the album. Funny thing is I went to see the man live about 2 yrs ago, I hadn't even bough his CD. Nuff said... Marcee calls him 'Mr John' because you just don't disrespect a man with that much talent LMAO.

7. My girls (Ride or die...)

Now ladies (I know you are going to read this), when I ask for pics and you don't' send them what would you like for me to do. Luckily with this wonderful technology I can put them up even after I 'publish' this post. So pls pls send the PHOTOS.

I have 'RIDE OR DIE' friends. There is nothing we don't do for each other and because there's so many of us, there's always someone to run to when you are in a time of need, someone to borrow cash from and enough friends to buy you EVERYTHING you need when you finally move out of home (Phiwi I am NOT buying you couches silly girl). I have known them for too long and still we have so much to talk about. I mess up so badly and still they don't judge me (while I'm hurting), they tell me when they judge me and I always have someone to have WAY TOO MUCH to drink with. I LOVE YOU GUYS... ALL OF YOU!!!

I think that is enough for one day. More to come. 19 DAYS TO GO!!!

2007's worst/challenges

There are 20 days left of this year and I thought it would be great to take stock of what went down this year. These are the experiences that I found challenging this year.

1. Getting a job where my dad is my bosses boss.. Sort of, but not really.
2. People talking shit about me getting the job because of the above. Not really saying it to my face though... COWARDS!!
3. Working with someone, that person losing their job and I had to take over while they were looking for someone new.
4. Having that person not really know WHY they were fired and her thinking that I STOLE her job. Now it's all weird.
5. Feeling like I would never be able to write my own songs and make music that I BELIEVED in.
6. Having car payments... Oh wow, all that money?!
7. Gaining all this weight.
8. My old ass phone kept dying whenever it wasn't on the charger. It was 4 yrs old though. Couldn't even receive MMSes.
9. My job was taking up too much time.
10. Wasn't making enough money and my job HATED me.
11. Starting to doubt the 'journey'
12. Trying to give up MEAT!!! That was a challenge.
13. Taking back my sexuality.
14. Being confident that everything I am doing is going to work out and that I am not a screw up. A daily challenge.
15. Being there for my Marcee, when I was feeling so despondent about a lot of things.
16. Watching my dad go through some really tough times and not being there.
17. Not being there for my mom when she was really sick earlier this year. Sometimes she could hardly walk and the Dr didn't know what was wrong with her.
18. Letting go off the guilt of not being there for my cousin who died of AIDS. My fear of not wanting to see her in so much pain kept me from being there for her. I still struggle with that. We grew up together and she didn't have great support system. I feel like I failed her to some extent.
19. Letting go of the FEAR and GUILT. It can be so crippling.
20. Not getting nearly enough sleep, now that I work almost 7 days a week.

Those are the ones I can think of right now. UP NEXT: The BEST of 2007 so far. 20 days to go!!!!

Hard to get rid of negativity

There has been a lot of negativity in my life recently. Not from me though, it's the people around me that have been negative. And for a while I really allowed myself to get sucked in. Before I knew it I was being just as negative as the people around me: Complaining and S&%# picking like the rest of them. It was a little fun at first: not taking responsibility for anything and blaming other people.

But after a while it got BORING... REALLY BORING! I was getting no joy from being negative. I guess it's because I'm not around the negative all the time. They spend so much time together that they've become addicted to it. Whereas I am off somewhere else, doing something with someone etc. So I only got a 'hit' of the drug once in a while, which just wasn't doing it for me.

So a few days ago I decided that I wasn't going to take part in any more negativity. No more whining, complaining, bitching etc. NOTHING!! It was pretty empowering at first. I was taking responsibility for everything that has happened to me. Things got tough when I had to be around the 'junkies' though. I was turning down offers to 'shnarff' (don;t how to spell that word... Is it even a real word?) the negativity with them. And when I didn't participate I was met with hostility.

What is it about us, that makes us want to be negative all the time?

Your thoughts???