Tuesday, March 11, 2008

When do you call it quits?

This month (all 11 days of it) and last month have been a little tough. I am in a position where I feel like I'm not being appreciated. Not only that I think... No! I KNOW that I'm being treated badly. People who know me will be very surprised that I am even in this situation, because if I don't like something I call it quits and move on. I don't believe that life should be a constant struggle.

After all my years of 'I don't like this sh&%, so I'm leaving'. I find myself elbow deep in s%&t that I don't like and I feel like I'm stuck. I can't be too specific, but all I can say is that this 'soul hurting' stuff is also helping me with my EP. This EP is my first major step in this journey. I have been making cute baby steps and now I'm taking my first big girl step. I don't want anything to interfere with that. At the same time I feel like this situation I've put myself in is draining me. I don't have the energy to do a lot of things. It's counter-productive... In a way.

In a book I read (by Dr John F. Demartini) he says we always have a choice, either:
Do A
Do B
Do Both
Or none of them

That's 4 choices and I'm still confused. When is enough, enough? Should I just bite the bullet and carry on for another 6 months? At what cost?

When I started this journey I said that I was willing to go where no one else was willing to go, do whatever it takes and it seems I'm doing it. It's not fun, but I'm doing it. I guess I am the only person that will know when to cal it quits. Whether or not I actually do that is another story.