Sunday, December 23, 2007

C-A-N-C-E-L-L-E-D FLIGHT (nationwide sucks)

So I was supposed to take a flight to Jozi today. So, we all packed our bags and headed off to the airport, like the good little troopers we are. When we get there we find out that our flight has been CANCELLED!!! So I start laughing because I knew that nothing goo could come from the airline that had engines falling from their planes not so long ago.

Okay, okay go ahead and judge me for being so naive and believing that what was once one of my favourite airlines could rise from the ashes. I guess I'm just one of those people: the hopelessly optimistic type.

So I walk over to the friendly people at the check in counter and ask them what C-A-N-CE-L-L-E-D means for me and mine. The man behind the counter smirks, looks at his buddies and repeats my question: 'what does it means?' Now I know I'm dealing with a genius. 'Yes... WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR ME?' He smiles, like I'm the idiot, and says 'It means it's cancelled'. Great. So I bring down the IQ to Amoeba level and ask in baby words 'what the F&^% I'm supposed to do.' Then he tells me that I must try another airline and fill in a refund form. I walk away, laughing because I don't want to murder a person who is taking up way too much space anyway. So Marcee takes over.

It turns out the Amoeba omitted the fact that this REFUND will take a couple of months. Who hires these people? After a few painful minutes we discover that we can go to the ticket sales people and get moved to another flight. The ticket people were MUCH smarter than the last chap. So I ask 'why did nobody call us?'. The girl behind the desk smiles and says 'did nobody call you?' AM I SPEAKING GREEK?? So we get moved to a flight on Christmas Eve and went back home.

I am extremely annoyed with NATIONWIDE and after this run in with their friendly staff I have no interest in using them again. If you were thinking about giving this airline a 2nd chance... GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

Never mind that I spent all this money paying for a taxi to take me to the airport and how that messes with my schedule: studios were cancelled in Cape Town, I had to make a million phone calls and I HATE THAT AIRLINE!!!!

NATIONWIDE SUCKS... In my humble opinion.

Blonde moment of note

So there I was visting the people over at , spotted their link over at Stelly's. So I see 'WIFEBEATER WEDENESDAY' and I'm like 'what?'. They have abusive men on this blog, so I scroll down and see the respectable Mr John in one of those vests they call 'wifebeater'. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Boy did I feel Blonde!! So the ladies over there have some interesting pics of Mr John looking surprisingly sexy. Not that I don't think that he is sexy, but well... I'd really rather think of him as cute/sweet/cuddly/intelligent. But hey, different strokes right? Is it just me, or does he look like he has been working out? I'm hitting the gym in the new year.

I am going home for a week and may not be able to post anything, so I'm leaving you with the best of the 'Wednesday Wifebeater' moments. ENJOY!!

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Have fun with your loved ones and PLEASE be safe.

The old and the new

I went and bought some music the other day and so far I've listened (I mean really listened) to 2 of the albums. This is what I thought of the music:
The old:

It is so great to see where 'our fave rapper' comes from musically. When I first listened to the album I chuckled a bit at how young dude sounded and how many F-bombs, n-bombs and MotherF$#*&%$ he drops.... Oh how far we've come Commy Com! At most times this album can be described as 'laid back'. I especially enjoyed 'Retrospect for life', which I had not heard in a long time. This song about abortion vs birth and taking responsibility for our actions. That song gets better every time I hear it.

G.O.D ft Cee-Lo is also another one of my favourites, Marcee LOVES it (she listens to it everyday). This album was released in 1997 and I'm inclined to say it was slightly before it's time. It even includes a little bit of 'comedy' on Stolen Moments (pt 1- 3). There are also some great collaborations with De La Soul, Ms Badu, Lauryn Hill, Canibus and Chantay Savage (on 'Reminding me of 'Sef' which I hadn't heard in ages too.

To say this album is deep would not be doing it justice because it is so beautifully done and above that: our man Com shows us what hip hop should really be about... Real people with real stories!

Pops. as always does his thing at the end of the album and his 'fatherhood rap' was especially touching. 'One day it'll all make sense' is the coming of age of Lonnie Lynn Jr and I thoroughly enjoyed taking the journey with him. Over and over again.


The new:

Ms Keys is back!!! I have been a fan since the very beginning, so please excuse me if I gush a little. This album is very 'grown up' in the sense that Ms Keys did not feel like she needed to conform to the 'sugary' music that female singers seem to be stuck on. She delivers her own brand of music, she just brought it up a few notches.

With guest collaborators like John Mayer (you know he is also one of my faves), Linda Perry (she continues to inspire) and of course Kerry 'Krucial' Brothers there is no way this album could fail. Besides the collaborations though it sounds like A. Keys is very comfortable with her voice and she was not afraid to use it either.

There are many great tracks on this album, Rolling Stone seems to be infatuated with 'Teenage Love Affair', while I'm absolutely besotted with 'Superwoman' which has the potential to turn into a 'ladies anthem'. I am not disappointed at all with the way A Keys is. HALLELU-YER!!! She is BACK!!

RATING: 4.5 out of 5

All Bisexual Polygamist jokes aside though. I am very proud of my purchases. And you know I keep telling people 'Even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an S on my chest... I'M A SUPERWOMAN!!!' I love it!!!!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Eat your food and shut up

Last night little brother (who is visiting for a week), wife and I went out for supper at a place down the road. Little brother had never had Sushi so we thought we take him for a bit of ROU VIS (raw fish).

Never mind that I had a fever and a killer migraine, nothing is too much for the men in my life. The whole evening is great. He is IN LOVE with Sushi (well done boi!!) and I discovered that drinking water all night is not such a bad thing.

A family of four (mom, dad and 2 sons) sit down next to us and the evening goes on. The food wasn't AMAZING, but the Sushi was great. We were sitting too close to the kitchen, but I'm really not a fussy customer. As long as I'm not sitting nest to the stove I'm happy ha ha ha ha. Anyway next thing I know, 'Mr Dad' next to us is being rude to the waiter. Not quietly, but full on making sure that people around can hear him. The waiter, who was obviously spinning, brought them something they didn't order. So 'Mr Dad' says 'WHY WOULD WE WANT SOMETHING WE DIDN'T ORDER'. Waiter boy cowers and goes back to the kitchen.

One of the managers goes up to 'Mr Asshole Dad' and asks if there is a problem (not in a confrontational way, just to try and sort out the mess). 'M.A.D' mutter something and then waiter girl says something with an uneasy smile and then 'M.A.D' shouts 'Then why do you ask me if I have a problem, when he is the one with the problem.'

As you can imagine some people get off on S%$& like this because maybe when they have reached a certain age that is the only kind of real satisfaction they are guaranteed to get. So he goes on and on and on, being SOOOO VERY asshole-ish. At this point I am about to stick my little boets steak knife in his jugular just to make him shut up because he is not the only person in the restaurant. But violence is NEVER the answer, so I carry on drinking my cold water.

Then something occurred to me. In all the time the 'M.A.D' was acting like a complete idiot, his wife just sat by looking pretty. She didn't even give him the side eye. You know. The oooweee-wait-till-we-get-to-the-car eye. I started thinking about what kind of message that foolish behaviour was sending to his sons. Would they one day grow up to become 'mini M.A.D's?

I guess one needs to think about things like this when you are with someone that you think you are gonna marry. You may think his tantrums are 'cute' or 'macho', but it's not so cute when children emulate that kind of behaviour. NO SIR!!! How many women actually think about things like that when they are considering being with someone for the rest of their lives? Interesting question isn't it?

I KNOW I want to have kids one day so when I meet the man who is going to be lucky enough to put up with all my FABULOUSNESS and 'minimal' asshole-ish-ness, I will make sure that he is the kind of man who will not only be a good example to his kids, but also one that responds well to the side eye. The last bit was a joke ha ha ha ha.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

What I'm looking forward to in 2008

There are 11 days to go and then 2008 is here...

Scary, but oh so exciting. Scary because I feel like it was just yesterday when I started a new job and had to deal with some crazy S&%t. Exciting because 2008 is going to be MY YEAR. 2007 was definitely the year that I learnt more about myself. I'm talking about some serious 'navel gazing' here. I have learnt so much about myself... Jeepers!

1. Releasing my EP
I know, I know... This year was Crazy!!! There are 3 tracks already and these are 'BIG GIRL' tracks, not the baby stuff I was doing. I will even be flexing the vocal muscles a bit, none of this sweet lazy singing ha ha ha. I don't want to say when it will be released and then have people call me a liar, but I'm hoping that all will be done by the end of March (2008).

2. Publishing my book
Okay this might come as a shock, but I've been working on a book for the last 2 yrs and it's almost done. I am in the process of finding an editor who will help me work out the kinks and then I'm publishing that bad boy.

3. Moving into a bigger place
Marcee and I have been living in this cute bachelor for about 2 yrs now. I strongly believe in NOT living beyond your means, this cute matchbox bachelor of our is all we could afford for the last 2 years, but we have since grown (as in gained weight and are earning a little bit more dosh) and we are ready to MOVE OUT. Let the search for a new place begin.

My girl Estelle's album is dropping in Feb. I don't need to explain why I've got mad luv and respek for her do I? Go here if you really have no clue. Watch out for this lady, she's gonna blow up.

5. Performing LIVE
Once that EP is released I am taking this show on the road for real! I CANNOT wait to do my thing on stage. Before that I need to find a band though. Let's hope that goes smoothly LOL! As if...

6. Starting my NPO
I can't really say much right now because... Well, there's too much to say and I'm a sickling and I don't feel like getting into it. All I can say is that it has something to do with kids, books and redefining their perceptions.

7. Getting the 2nd and FINAL tattoo
I was supposed to do it this year, but I didn't feel ready. I know it sounds weird but I didn't. Below is the on I got last year (2006). Aaaah fun times, fun times...

8. Seeing how the ANC drama plays out
Jacob Zuma is the president of the ANC and Thabo Mbeki has to answer to a man who he fired as his deputy. This should be very interesting. VERY VERY INTERESTING! A lot of people are nervous about this. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, to be quite honest.

9. Losing a little bit of weight
Damn, I need to lose a few centimetres around my stomach ha ha ha ha. Seriously! Living the good life requires one to watch what they eat clearly. Too much good food, too little time.

10. My little boet starting Varsity
I was there for my little brothers first day of school and now he is going to be starting University. WOW!! He is such a sweet guy and he is smart as well. I can't wait to watch him grow into the wonderful man I know he is capable of being.

An opportunity for us all to start over again. And when I say start over again, I don't mean making New Years resolutions. I mean learning the lessons of the past year and not making the same mistakes over. I have learnt that for as long as you keep ignoring the lessons, you will keep attracting the same things into your life.

I'm coughing up a lung here, so I'm learning the lesson and getting back into bed. I'm learning to listen to my body. Sulk, sulk, whine, cough, moan, cough, cough, cough...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Amazing weather + Fever =

Me missing work and 'hallucinating' (okay I exaggerate but I really did miss work)

Okay... So yesterday when I was talking about 'flu meds' I was talking about some meds that I had left over from my last flu-ey-ness-ness. Well I had some 'Med Lemon', fell asleep and thought everything would be just fine. Marcee and my little brother, who is visiting for a week, say I was being 'violent' (as in shouting at them for making a noise) and 'hallucinating'. They tend to exaggerate and they love messing with my mind.

Last night was terrible. I kept waking up in the middle of the night to blow my nose, or to cough up a lung, to pee (because flu meds do that to me) or to pull the covers off me. Well TODAY was even worse!! It was 32 degrees Celsius here in Cape Town and I felt like my body was on fire. Went to go and see my favourite Dr and he told me that I have a FEVER!!!

FEVER? FEVER! You can only imagine how I am feeling. Not going to work tomorrow either and I'm taking antibiotics. What a lovely way to spend the holidays.

Off to bed (sulk, sulk whine, moan, cough, sulk, faint)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What I've learnt in 2007

So I'm at home sick and waiting for the 'flu meds' to kick in. Whenever I'm online I check out a few peoples blogs and while I was visiting Sickamore's blog I came across this post (what I learnt in 2007). It inspired me to do my own. So here goes:

Carol/Tso/Cazmo/Black Porcelain/Ms Mashigo

Singer, songwriter, writer, Radio presenter & producer

December 18

In bed (Cape Town, South Africa)

21:45 pm

- Slow is beautiful. I used to run through breakfast, work, learning how to play the piano etc. This year I found the joy in experiencing every moment of what I'm doing. I have learnt to be PRESENT in every moment of my life, so I can be the best me I can be at every moment of my life.

- No matter what I do, there will always be someone who does not like it/me. I got a job that someone elses was not very well at (I didn't ask for it, I just got it) . Instead of looking at themselves that person turned their anger toward me. No matter what you do, how well you do it or how good your intentions are. There will ALWAYS be someone who think you are 'scum of the earth', so do what you want to do for you and no one else.

- I underestimate myself way too much. This year I changed jobs, got a 'promotion' in less than 6 months of starting my new job, doubled my income, made the nay sayers eat their words, wrote 3 new songs (by myself) on the piano (that I only started playing less that 2 yrs ago). I don't underestimate myself anymore!!

- I can have a good time without drinking. At varsity I used to drink a WHOLE lot, but outside of that environment I have really moved away from that.

- This is STILL a mans world. Intelligent women still don't have their power. Booty shaking and being someones 'woman' is still what counts. Capable singers have to resort to being naked to be respected and men can look as shabby as shabby as they want and they still get respect.

- Never have sex or try to have sex when you are NOT READY for it. Things work so much better when you are ready. Sex is so much more than getting naked with someone... SO SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Sex starts with you: what you say to yourself, how much you value yourself and being responsible for your own actions.

- Gratitude is POWERFUL! Being grateful for what you have EVERYDAY makes you see how much you really have and it also opens you up for more blessings.

- Preventing the spread of HIV has very little to do with education and everything to do with people's attitudes. Too many young WOMEN who are very educated are STILL dying from HIV/AIDS.

- I believe that we have let the youth down in a very bad way. Just switch on your TV, radio, go on the Internet or listen to what kids are saying. I'm not saying that I am old and wise but I am saying that these kids are confused and there is a lot of work that WE ALL need to do to 'rescue' the youth.

- No matter how good you think you are as a president, if you alienate your team they will not vote for you again. Leaving the people that you are leading in total confusion.

- I live in a beautiful, but equally sad country.

- I LOVE my life!

I think that's it...

Monday, December 17, 2007

They send it, I post it

So the other day on this post I was complaining that my friends wont send me pics that I can;t put on my posts, then a lovely young lady sent me a picture.

Now my friends are ALL very beautiful, smart and like I said before they are 'ride or die' women, so below is a photo of a few of the women who make this life SOOOOO much more fun and easier to live.

From L- R: AK (Team Captain), random I don't know, Stevie (that is not her real name), Dumisa-the-hotness-without-a-shirt, Phi. LOVE IT!!!
Pic above compliments of my girl Phi who recently celebrated her birthday. LOVE YOU GIRL!!!

Me and Zoey (it was on my birthday this year at Noordhoek beach- FUN TIMES)

Em (with her back to the camera), Jess (trying to take a bite out of my SEXY...) and me (drinking wine out of a champagne glass).
To my other friends: SEND THE PICS and I PUT THEM UP. I'm very proud of all of you.

I didn't get the memo

So there I was playing on the Internet at my favourite spot: YouTube... Yes I play there and soon I might even start posting bits and pieces from the 'making of (insert any name here for now- I don't have a name for the EP yet)'... No promises, because you know I'm not really technologically advanced.

BACK TO THE MEMO I DIDN'T RECEIVE. My MOST FAVOURITEST song on Mr John's 'Once Again' is Another again. The whole CD is amazing but that one is the one that I can listen to OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER... So you can imagine my surprise when I found that it has a video. Hmmm!!!

WHY am I ALWAYS the last to know these things?? Oh well. Here it is:

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Back from Jozi

I spent Thurs, Fri and Sat in Jozi and now I'm SOOO exhausted.

Tomorrow is a 'public holiday' and I am working. I hate getting to work and the building is deserted, although that's pretty much how it's going to be for the rest of the month. DARN IT!!! One day when I can afford to take a holiday I'm going to do it... I mean REALLY do it! Go somewhere far away, see the sites, see the places where 'tourists' don't go, flirt with men who don't speak any of the languages I speak, eat exotic food, get sick because exotic food is too much for my stomach, buy loads of stuff, do everything I possibly can in those few day, enjoy the scenery, take LOADS of pictures and ENJOY being away from home and work for a few days... One day soon....

I am feeling very inspired and everyday I am taking steps that are bringing me closer to my 'vision'. Over the past few days the vision has grown like you wont believe. It almost seems too big to be done over night and I'm willing to work very hard for however long it takes to make it all come true.

I have so much to share, but not enough energy to put it all down. SIGH!! Have too much work to do anyway...


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The best of 2007 Part 1

Okay, so I realised that yesterday's post made 2007 seem a little sad. This year has been and continues to be AMAZING. I have grown so much and have learnt so much about myself.
So I'm going to share some of the things that have gotten me through the year.


I really don't know how else to explain how wonderful it is to know that regardless of what I have or haven't done there is someone who LOVES me and BELIEVES in me. Having Marcia in my life is incredible. If I didn't love men so much I would seriously marry her, because that's how much I love her. Me and my fellow nerd are about to take the world by storm. WATCH OUT WORLD!!

Now I can begin with the list

1. John Mayer's Continuum album

Wow!! When I first heard 'waiting on the world to change' I had no idea he was the 'your body is a wonderland' guy. I wasn't a fan of that song nefore, but now I even play it on my show sometimes. 'Waiting on the world to change' is a great track , but I enjoy the message more than I do the 'music'. This whole album was like a great conversation with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. I LOVE LOVE it. It's actually my driving music at the moment (I decided to give 'Finding Forever' a rest). This album manages to lift me when I need it or let's me cry when I need it too.

John's SOOO got that hot 'sulky artistic white boy thing' going in that pic. HEY JOHN LET'S GET TOGETHER AND DO A REALLY KICK ASS SONG LOL!!! CALL ME!!!

My absolute favourite songs off this album... That's a tough one, but I think I will go with 'Vultures', 'Stop this train', 'Gravity' and 'I'm gonna find another you'. WHAT AN AMAZING ALBUM. Did I mention that the man blogs as well? So, occasionally he lets you have a peak into the sometimes incomprehensible world of John Mayer. Nice.

2. A new phone. HALLELUYER!!!!

It's a Samsung L760. After carrying around my beloved brick (Nokia 3510i), it was really time to get a new phone. I am very scared of technology so this was a big step for me. I feel so much better knowing that my phone wont die as soon as it rings. And I find people don't look at me funny when I pull out my phone and read an sms, as opposed to trying to guess what it says because there is a solid line in the middle of your screen from when you dropped your phone in varsity ha ha ha ha ha.

3. The fam

No I do not think that the phone is less important than the fam. NEVER!!! I just happened to put them in this order. I talk to my family members at least 5 times a week. They have gone from expecting me to be who they thought I should be to completely trusting that I will not F$#& up. They support me, even when they don't understand why I do the things I do. I'm TRULY BLESSED. I will try and get pics of all of them together. (I'll try to get my dad to smile)

4. Meeting Dr John F Demartini

I am not exaggerating when I say that things could have gone VERY wrong this year had I not met Dr Demartini. I was truly READY to meet him and HEAR what he had to say. Had it been at any other time of my life I would have laughed it all off and carried on 'wasting my life'.

After meeting this incredible man I got my A into G, bought 3 of his books and started LIVING the BEST life right NOW. Thanks Dr Demartini, you will never know how RIGHT the time, message and EVERYTHING was when we met. You know what's so weird, he always looks like he does in that picture. Smiling that content smile of his.

5. Working at Radio 2000

This has been one of the most interesting, fulfilling and challenging jobs that I have ever done. Admittedly there was a little bit of drama, but what is life without a bit of hardship? I have met some REALLY amazing people through this job. I am on air 6 times a week on national radio station and I really can't complain about that. I LOVE MY JOB (even when things get rough)!!!


6. John Legend

Ever since Marcee called me and told me to switch on the radio because this 'really nice song is on' and I heard 'Girl I'm in love with you..." I WAS SOLD!!! Like the other John (Mayer, not Demartini) I could listen to this man's music FOREVER. A lady I used to work with once asked me if I 'never get tired of listening to the same song' (the song in question was 'so high') and I answered NO.

When 'Once Again' came out I was one of the first to buy the album. Funny thing is I went to see the man live about 2 yrs ago, I hadn't even bough his CD. Nuff said... Marcee calls him 'Mr John' because you just don't disrespect a man with that much talent LMAO.

7. My girls (Ride or die...)

Now ladies (I know you are going to read this), when I ask for pics and you don't' send them what would you like for me to do. Luckily with this wonderful technology I can put them up even after I 'publish' this post. So pls pls send the PHOTOS.

I have 'RIDE OR DIE' friends. There is nothing we don't do for each other and because there's so many of us, there's always someone to run to when you are in a time of need, someone to borrow cash from and enough friends to buy you EVERYTHING you need when you finally move out of home (Phiwi I am NOT buying you couches silly girl). I have known them for too long and still we have so much to talk about. I mess up so badly and still they don't judge me (while I'm hurting), they tell me when they judge me and I always have someone to have WAY TOO MUCH to drink with. I LOVE YOU GUYS... ALL OF YOU!!!

I think that is enough for one day. More to come. 19 DAYS TO GO!!!

Monday, December 10, 2007

2007's worst/challenges

There are 20 days left of this year and I thought it would be great to take stock of what went down this year. These are the experiences that I found challenging this year.

  1. Getting a job where my dad is my bosses boss.. Sort of, but not really.
  2. People talking shit about me getting the job because of the above. Not really saying it to my face though... COWARDS!!
  3. Working with someone, that person losing their job and I had to take over while they were looking for someone new.
  4. Having that person not really know WHY they were fired and her thinking that I STOLE her job. Now it's all weird.
  5. Feeling like I would never be able to write my own songs and make music that I BELIEVED in.
  6. Having car payments... Oh wow, all that money?!
  7. Gaining all this weight.
  8. My old ass phone kept dying whenever it wasn't on the charger. It was 4 yrs old though. Couldn't even receive MMSes.
  9. My job was taking up too much time.
  10. Wasn't making enough money and my job HATED me.
  11. Starting to doubt the 'journey'
  12. Trying to give up MEAT!!! That was a challenge.
  13. Taking back my sexuality.
  14. Being confident that everything I am doing is going to work out and that I am not a screw up. A daily challenge.
  15. Being there for my Marcee, when I was feeling so despondent about a lot of things.
  16. Watching my dad go through some really tough times and not being there.
  17. Not being there for my mom when she was really sick earlier this year. Sometimes she could hardly walk and the Dr didn't know what was wrong with her.
  18. Letting go off the guilt of not being there for my cousin who died of AIDS. My fear of not wanting to see her in so much pain kept me from being there for her. I still struggle with that. We grew up together and she didn't have great support system. I feel like I failed her to some extent.
  19. Letting go of the FEAR and GUILT. It can be so crippling.
  20. Not getting nearly enough sleep, now that I work almost 7 days a week.

Those are the ones I can think of right now. UP NEXT: The BEST of 2007 so far. 20 days to go!!!!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Hard to get rid of negativity

There has been a lot of negativity in my life recently. Not from me though, it's the people around me that have been negative. And for a while I really allowed myself to get sucked in. Before I knew it I was being just as negative as the people around me: Complaining and S&%# picking like the rest of them. It was a little fun at first: not taking responsibility for anything and blaming other people.

But after a while it got BORING... REALLY BORING! I was getting no joy from being negative. I guess it's because I'm not around the negative all the time. They spend so much time together that they've become addicted to it. Whereas I am off somewhere else, doing something with someone etc. So I only got a 'hit' of the drug once in a while, which just wasn't doing it for me.

So a few days ago I decided that I wasn't going to take part in any more negativity. No more whining, complaining, bitching etc. NOTHING!! It was pretty empowering at first. I was taking responsibility for everything that has happened to me. Things got tough when I had to be around the 'junkies' though. I was turning down offers to 'shnarff' (don;t how to spell that word... Is it even a real word?) the negativity with them. And when I didn't participate I was met with hostility.

What is it about us, that makes us want to be negative all the time?

Your thoughts???

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

30 things you should know about me

So the other day I was on someones blog and I saw this. It was actually 50 things, but I'm not that ambitious. I struggled to get to 20, so please recognise how huge this achievement is. Below are 30 things that you may not know about me. I think it's a great way to know the person whose blog you sometimes visit.

It was actually lots of fun doing this, you should also try it when you have time.

1. I LOVE music, it has been the one constant thing in my life.
2. I am teaching myself how to play the guitar and it's lots of fun. I'm actually a lot brighter than I think I am.
3. I once thought that I was not worthy of making music... (Weird... I know!!)
4. I am writing a book, that will be published next year (I have a little confession to make about this, but I'm not ready to share yet)
5. I LOVE food.
6. I have a slow metabolism, so I can't eat as much as I want.
7. I don't really know if I have a slow metabolism, but all the signs are there :)
8. I love my family a whole lot, even though they drive me up the wall. I know that we are perfect just the way we are. THERE IS A BALANCE.

9. My brothers really know how to get me to do things for them: do their washing, look after the kids (when I should be out partying), paying for movie tickets.

10. My mom is a SURVIVOR!!

11. I work for a radio station (I present a women's show) and I am 'on-air' 6 times a week.
12. I like my job on MOST days, because I learn a lot from it
13. I share a bachelor with my best friend, who is also my manager and my ROCK!

14. I HATE shaving my legs (it's too much work) and I LOVE jeans. So it all works out perfectly.
15. I can NEVER wax my under-arms because I have many tiny moles there, so shaving is a really delicate process.
16. Growing up I didn't want to have kids, now I want four. But I think I'm too young to start having kids (24 is young is young right?)
17. I think I still have a little crush on Steve Tyler (the demon of screamin') LMAO

Image from

18. I am going to make Time’s 100 before I die
19. I used to feel like I wasn’t worth much, but now I KNOW that is not true and I love who I am and I’m truly grateful for everything I have and who I am right now. It’s a great feeling.
20. The thing I am most afraid of: losing my mind.
21. I believe in God and I am also very spiritual. Those two are not the same thing according to most people.
22. I used to LOOOVE chocolate, but now I really don't like it.
23. When I was little I thought Michael Jackson was going to marry me. But as I grew older I realised he wasn't even remotely interested. SIGH

24. I cry when I'm happy and when I'm EXTREMELY ANGRY.
25. I respect people who follow the wisdom of their soul.
26. I love giving credit where it's due. I don't see the point in 'hating'. The other person is being the best at being themselves. Nobody can beat that. Instead of hating I prefer to congratulate people. Because often what we see in other people is what we ourselves are capable of.
27. I can be extremely impatient.
28. I want to turn the youth of South Africa into a reading generation. There are not enough young people that read and I'm passionate about young people reading.
29. I love whiskey and red wine is second on the list. I had way too much vodka at Varsity and it was all CHEAP Vodka too... Oh to be young, broke and DRUNK.
30. I need a vacation and I really wanna live in New York one day. Patience my little one, patience.

That's just 30 random things about me. More will follow. I will try to do this every month or every 2 weeks.

Monday, November 26, 2007

EP diary - there is a 2nd and 3rd track

Okay, so I realise I have been a little quiet about the EP: that was done on purpose, because the 'bill paying' job took over some of my time and there was some other body stuff going on (terrible migraines- poor me boo hoo hoo).

So the 1st track has become a little more than a concept now. Slowly falling in love with it. I asked Chris to let me court it first and see what I could do with it. he's been really patient. While I was courting track one he started working on..... DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

TRACK 2, it's got a 'bluesy' feel to it. I believe he was recording a drum track for it this weekend with his fabulously talented fellow-Carpet-Mafian (I just made that word up). Can't wait to hear it. I've been waiting a long time to sit down and speak to a 'producer' and have someone produce (excuse the pun) something that we both could agree on and work on. Initially it's a small idea and then somehow in the time that we are apart it becomes something real and it just keeps growing.

TRACK 3 has something of an interesting story to it. While I was learning to play the piano... Listen to me, talking as if I can already play the piano like a pro. Let me start again: About 2 months ago I was learning how to mix and match chords and I came up with a really simple combination that was so much fun. I added lyrics one day when Marcee was making supper and I was having a glass of wine (starting to sound like my buddy Tertia LOL! Love her!) and decided to write a song about a certain musician *BLUSH* *BLUSH*. It wasn't like a let's-get-it-on-right-now-hot-boy type of thing. Oh goodness no!! That track I'm saving for Common (and Alicia Keys) LOL. Okay that was another bad joke LMAO... Indulge me here!! Uhmmm... Where was I?

Oh yeah, so I wrote a song about a musician that I have so much respect for. It's just a playful little tune about my relationship with music and it just happens to include this guy and his music. It's called 'Song for..." and C.B (amazing producer of mine) and I are gonna record it soon. He is just getting to know my COMPLEX chords to the song and then we are gonna do it. I guess you'll find out who it is when I'm done. If you do know please don't spill the beans (Phi, Steve, Marcee etc).

I'm helluva excited about this project. I am coming into my own a singer and as a songwriter and it makes wanna SHOUT and JUMP AROUND when I think about it. I am blessed to know my passion and fortunate enough to pursue it with everything I've got it.

I have more surprises in store. Hint: it's about ANOTHER passion of mine. YAY!!!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Guess whose CD I'm buying tomorrow?

Yes I know it's a little late... But I've been busy okay!!!

I'm not entirely sure what the half naked woman has to do with anything though... It's still a good 'pick me up' tune!

Just when you think...

that we are all adults. A bunch of monkeys go out of their way to do something very juvenile, that makes one wonder if we NEVER really leave high school and if life is one big 'popularity contest'. Well, a couple of days ago the 'cool kids' (read: a bunch of posers) decided to do something very childish to remind me know that 'I don't belong'. I had no idea people still did that.

Usually the old 'pissing on our territory' thing would have bothered me but this time around I let it slide. Somehow I KNEW that I didn't belong. Not in a way that made me feel less than them or anything. It was different this time: I KNEW that I belonged somewhere where I could shine. My star is getting to bright for the little box that I'm in.

So I guess I'm grateful that the 'cool kids' decided to act up. I guess I was getting a little complacent where I am right now. When they pulled that little stunt, one song came to mind (Marcee always says that I can think of a song for any situation LOL), so I went to find the vid on YouTube to share it with you... I guess it's true what they say: MEDIOCRITY ALWAYS ATTACKS EXCELLENCE !!!

Kanye West - Stronger

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Calming music

Don't judge me, but here is one of my favouritEST songs at the mo. A few yrs back my sweet little brother introdued me to Linkin Park. Faint is by far one of my favourites by Linkin Park. So you can imagine how excited I was when I found 'Bleed it out'. It was just so calming. LOVES IT!!!

Found this vid on YouTube didn't really have time to look for the 'official' video, but this will do. It's still sounds good though.

Linkin Park- Bleed it out

Okay now I'm really gonna take a nap :)

GI rocks!!!

This morning on Radio 2000: Ray White and Nicole da Silva interviewed Tumi and Mandla from Gang of Instrumentals aka GI. What nice people!! Never once did I detect that annoying 'I'm an important celeb thing about them'... Their music is kick ass as well, so YAY WE LOVE GI!! Did I mention that I love good music??

I interviewed Mandla a few weeks back on the Blackboard Jungle and he was very polite and such a pleasure to talk to. Tumi is a Pedi girl so you know I'm down with her.. She is one of 'my people' ha ha ha. Lots of fun was had by all this morning. They even got Nicole to sing the chorus to 'my number one' HALLELUYER!!!

Here is that addictive song: My number one. SALUTE!!!!

You better be watching...

Estelle, because she has just been featured on Rolling Stones 'artist to watch'. check it out here. Yep!!

Now I know why I was inspired to do that post a while ago. You go ESTELLE!!! Keep going and keep rising to HIGHER HEIGHTS!!!!

Quiet moments

I'm sitting in my little bachelor and the TV is off (for a change), listening to John Mayer (slow dancing in a burning room) and enjoying the quiet. It's a beautiful day in Cape Town, seems the sun put the wind in 'time out' and asked for 'quiet time'.

Today I'm grateful. More grateful than I usually am. Grateful that I am alive, grateful for everything that seemed like a mistake in the past. I guess there are no mistakes in life, because I know that I am meant to be RIGHT HERE at this very moment. And if it wasn't for all those 'mistakes' I wouldn't be here right now. I'm grateful for love, loss, pain, pleasure and being able to feel it all!!

I have a raging headache and feel as though I need to lie down and that is exactly what I am going to do (when I'm done with this post). I believe I am done with putting so much pressure on myself: I have done more than enough to prove to myself that I am an exceptional human being (God doesn't make trash), that I am worthy of love and praise and that I am here to follow my destiny and live MY life the way I see fit.

That feels so good. That amazing human being that has been locked inside of this insecure thin skin has done more than broken it... SHE IS STEPPING OUT COOL AS YOU PLEASE. She is in no rush, she is loving her big coming out and when she is done she is going to look back at her cage, the thin skin, and say 'thank you darling, but I've got it from here. You can rest knowing that we are in great hands now. You did the best you could... But now that we know better, I'm going to do better. PLEASE BELIEVE!!!'

HALLELU-YER I have arrived!!!!!!!!!!!

I love these quiet moments.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Lupe fever!

It's official: Lupe has just been added on my list of the hottest artists. Now before you all crucify me for liking a song that uses the N-word and B*&c%... It's irony my people! It's the 'voice' of the masses who have been exposed to 'DUMBED DOWN' music and have come to expect it. This guy is right up there with Common, Talib, Mos def, Kanye (it may be surprising, but Kanye's music has lots of heart and message... It doesn't hurt that it's catchy too!!)

Lupe Fiasco 'Dumb it down'

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The man has spoken

Okay... Being the 'bisexual polygamist' that I that loves 'real' artists I came across someone I called one of the most under-rated artists of our time: Common.

A while ago I had a good rant about Hip Hop, which I love by the way. I love music and I know the power that music has and that why I did 'The hip hop issue' part 1 and part 2. I always have to put this disclaimer here: I have nothing against these people personally. I don't even know them, but I know that they have a lot of influence that isn't always used in the right way.

So go here to listen to the man formerly known as Common Sense, say things that I wish we could hear more often. He's not perfect but he sure does use his mind and is AWARE of the kind of influence he has. HALLELUYER (Tyler Perry). I have musch respect for the man as an artist- HALLELUYER!!!

Love his accent LOL.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Not a baby anymore

My sweet little brother wrote his last matric (Grd 12) exam on Monday... Aaaahhh!

Okay, so he is not so little. I'm so proud of him, he is just such a wonderful individual. He has a great sense of humour, never judges me (no matter how badly I've messed up) and he's so relaxed. When I'm freaking out, he's taking care of things. Where would I be without my little-big-brother??

He might be coming to visit before matric results come out, to relax a little. YAY!!! I remember how terrified I was when I was waiting for my results to come out. I knew that I had studied and that there was no way that I could have failed. But the thought of buying a newspaper and not seeing my name was SCARY! I actually didn't buy the newspaper. I chose to sleep while everybody else got up in the early hours and bought the newspaper looking for their names.
Needless to say I passed!!

We were testing the camera on his phone. Not bad neh?
My phone is so old... No joke? It was one of the first colour screen phones and I can't even receive MMSes and he has this fancy phone with MP3 player, radio, camera and it turns into a car when he can't get a lift. LOL! Oh well...

Mommy weekend

My mom was here this weekend- YAY!!! Marcee's mom was also here, so it was truly a girls weekend. my mom has been very sick from a very long time with Osteo-Arthritis and the Dr's didn't know what was wrong with her. She eventually got help from a specialist and now she is like anew woman. She could hardly walk and was always off work. So once she got better I wanted her to come visit.

A great time was had by all. We went to the beach, even though the weather wasn't that great, my mom was a real sport and tried Sushi without complaining... Although she did once we went to get Thai food. I have no concept of taking it slow. I just thought that if she was okay with Sushi, she would be okay with Thai food. APPARENTLY NOT!!!

It was great having Ma here in my space. The last time I was living at home I was 18: after high school I went to Varsity, then moved to Cape Town. So in her mind I am still 18 (more like 6), in a far away place (it's a 2 hour flight from Jozi to here), living in a shack (well... It is a bachelor) and I have no friends or family around (Marcee and I have been friends since I was 12, so we are practically family). She saw my 'place' and relaxed a little.

Lots of fun was had and she even went to a spa for the first time. I'm so glad that the older I get, the better my relationship with my mom gets... Come to think of it our relationship was never THAT bad, we were always cool. But now we are TIGHT!!!
Pics from this weekend:

Good times!!

There's no denying that they are related

My mom loves posing... She was too short to be a model.

Guess who had too much wine? Clue: it wasn't me

I couldn't help myself!!

Will put up more soon :)

If I was a bisexual polygamist...

I would marry both these very talented and beautiful people... Not sure who I would marry first though... If I marry Common first, I might never get around to marrying Alicia. So the three of us will marry on the same day. LOL! Okay, after that amazing intro: here is new music from one of my favourites singers featuring one of my fave rappers ("... baby I'm an actor") in the video.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Estelle on FIRE

Looks like people are staying true to themselves and making music that is on FA-YA!!! My fav girl Estelle this her new vid for the song 'Wait a minute (just a touch)'.

It's TOOO hot. I love the line 'wrap it up coz I aint carrying your embryo...' HA HA HA HA!!! And also loved 'My love is on overload, don't mean to boast but a kiss will make you overdose." LOVES IT!!!

In a good place

First post of the week (the one before doesn't count- I was just sharing good music)....

I'm in a really good place right now. REALLY GOOD!! I'm certain. Very certain of my plans and destiny. It's such a great place to be... It feels like: YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I compiled a Yipeeeeeeeeeeee list: things that make you feel wonderful

1. Do you regardless
example: I'm a thick girl. Thick, as in I'm no Kate Moss. For a while I let it bother me, but now I don't worry so much about it because my beauty is not determined by the size of my jeans. So now I eat food that's healthy, but I'm not about to 'watch' what I eat. The longer I 'watch' food, the more I eat. So maybe watching what I eat is making me fat LOL!

2. Acknowledging the beauty of those around you
Negativity is so tiring.... Seriously! Seeing the beauty in everyone actually makes you feel better. I don't know how it works but I know that knowing that the people around me are different and magnificent in their own way makes ME feel better. I love giving credit here it's due.

3. Watch a good movie
Marcee and I watched Ratatouille on Friday afternoon. The plot was not complicated and rats never looked so cute. I laughed and loved it!!! Go watch a good movie! Sometimes when I'm feeling low I think of Dory: Just keep swimming, swimming swimming.... LOVE IT!!!

4. Buy a really great pair of shoes
I love wearing closed shoes, I feel really naked when I expose my toes. I bought a pair of open toe wedges and oooohh I felt so good. Beyonce sings about a freakum dress... I have FREAKUM SHOES ha ha ha. I fell like I'm naked in public but I have all my clothes on. NASTY!!!!

5. Try something new
I hate trying new things when it comes to food. Marcee and I go to this lovely little Thai place sometimes and I always order the same thing. ALWAYS!! Because what I like tastes so good, when I do try something good it's never as good as my firm favourite. Well last week Wednesday I had Sushi. I had never tried Sushi before (it just didn't seem like my kinda thing) and that damn Marcee convinced me to try it. I LOVED IT!!! I felt like a kid, trying something new for the first time. It was VERY EXCITING.

6. Spend some time with good friends
I don't need to explain that one. It's even better if there is good food and lots of bubbly (or whiskey in my case).

7. When in doubt, play a good song
I play Commons song 'The people' in my car when I need inspiration or when I need to calm myself. A good song will do wonders for you. See the video for my current 'theme song' here. Common is most def one of the under-rated artists of our time.

I'm out...

Loving Lupe

Loving this track right now...

Friday, November 2, 2007

Time away makes... appreaciate all this shit!!

I haven't posted a blog in almost a month and I am so glad to be back at this stuff. I go through a lot of crazy things in my day to day activities and I want to share all of that with you, but geez my workload has been hectic and everytime I think about sitting down and posting a blog I fall asleep before I can log on and share. So I have put aside some blogging/writing time. I hope I can stick to atleast 2 posts a week... Don't judge me! Two posts a week is very ambitious for someone who can hardly get through supper without snoring.

My workload was really getting unbearable, so I took 2 days off: Thursday and Friday. I used to be one of those people that believed that skipping a couple of meals is not a big deal. I used to tell myslef 'to thug/man up' when I've only had 3 hours of sleep a day and I feel like I might collapse. I always underestimated good rest and never really thought about what a difference rest makes.

After being away from the 'day job' I was able to really appreaciate my job (and salary), but I also realised that I am okay without it. I'm in an industry where people get addicted to the attention, the rush of switching the mic on blah blah blah. I thought I might be one of those people till I stepped away from it and listened to someone else do my show.

There was no envy or longing. Only silence.... I coulld hear my own voice in the silence and I could hear my body crying out for help. I also managed to squeeze in lunch at Paranga with a view of the 'beach'. I even came to appreactiate retail therapy and bought two pairs of shoes- HALLELUYER!!!!

This absence has made my heart grow fonder, my body stronger, changed my perceptions and made me get back in touch with me :)

I'm back....

Friday, October 12, 2007

So what??

Oh geez, I'm having one of those so what days...

So what? I'm feeling lazy and I need to do a whole lot of things before I leave this office... No matter what happens the sun will set tonight, the world does not stop because you wont meet a deadline.

So what? There is drama all around me... There will always be drama and I just can't be bothered with fuelling the fire by adding my two cents worth.

So what if I haven't eaten since 7:30 this morning? ... I KNOW that when I get home I am going to stuff my face while watching the goings on of the people on 7de Laan.

So what? I don't feel like being nice today... Being nice all the time is probably bad for your health anyway. If I have choice between pissing me or another person off. I'm choosing the other person. I have to live with me for the rest of my life. The other person will soon go away (Thanks Dr Demartini).

None of these thing really make a difference to my life right now. Truth is I work my butt off every other day, so today I'm going to be a slacker. There are people that have made a profession of slacking. I'm just doing it for one day.

I eat 3 full meals a day and 2 (0r 3) healthy snacks in between. I am not going to do from missing one meal and two snacks for a day... Although I suspect I might if I miss all my meals :)

People who create drama are at their happiest when there are people feeding off their negative energy. They are parasites and I don't feel like being a host today, maybe tomorrow but today I'm taking my blood supply back thank you very much!

As for being nice... Being nice doesn't have to mean saying yes all the time or taking S%^T from chancers. people are such chancers. They are always looking to see how far they can push someone before they push back. I am not pushing back today I'm giving everyone fair warning. 'Please don't piss me off today because I will put fire up your A*%....' I think it's only fair to warn people.

So what, if this post makes no sense at all. I had fun writing it and now right now that's all that matters ;)

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

EP Diary - Quick update

I have not been posting because I am bored with my blog, I haven't been posting because I have been SOOOO busy. Busy making money, so that I can fulfill my destiny (you must be so tired of hearing that).

So many things have happened. I have to give the long and short of it though:
1. Meeting with the new producer tomorrow to work on the concept song - yay!! It's coming along very nicely!!

2. I bought a new instrument. I bought a guitar. I thought of buying a piano but I live in a bachelor with another human being and I probably couldn't afford it.

3. Just had a piano lesson and am getting better and better as a song-writer. I even committed to writing a song every 2 weeks. Piano teacher and I made a pact. I will probably live to regret it and be thankful for it as well. Note: I said write (NOT finish) a new song every 2 weeks. It can be done. I should have a skeleton for the new song by next week Tuesday.

4. I'm happy... I know that sounds vague but I'm pleased with where I am because I can see the light at the end of the tunnell.

This is a quick update... I have to get back to making THE DREAM come true.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Stuck at Durban Int Airport

Before I begin: HAPPY HERITAGE DAY to all in SA!!!

So on Friday I had a meeting in Durban and had to be up at ungodly hours, just to be there for it. My flight took off at 6 am and I was up 03:30. The meeting was okay, I learnt a lot about how one should and shouldn't deal with people and how people can sometimes get caught up in 'politics'... But that is not important right t now.

My flight back to Cape Town was supposed to leave at 18:25. My meeting ended a little after 12 and then we took the client to lunch, so I was already upset that I would be hanging around at the airport for 4 hours and get home after 8, but I didn't complain. As soon as I check in I get told that my flight has been delayed and we will only be leaving AFTER 7pm. GREAT!! I hang around at the airport, get some stuff done and the time will go by quickly.

Just as I leave 'house of coffees' I find out that my flight is delayed again. To cut a long story short. A whole lot of flights were delayed and there was no where to sit and long after 20:30 we were boarding. I don't usually fly BA and I have no intention of using that airline any time soon. I finally got home after 11pm and I was BUGGERED. Swak!

That's my rant for the week :)

EP diary - The first track concept

Met up with C.B today (the 2nd producer) and he made me listen to the first concept track and I'm SOOOO impressed. It is only a concept but I can see it working really well. He gave it to me to work on and that is exactly what I intend to do.

We spent time going over 'the sound' of the EP and what the themes should be etc. Last time we spoke about it briefly, so this time we spoke about more stuff. We also listened to some of my favourite songs... So he knows where my head is at right now.

The track itself is very exciting and I think once I get into it, I can come up with some killer melodies and lyrics. I'm so excited!!! I'M DOING IT! I'M ACTUALLY DOING IT!!! I'm tempted to say that this feeling is better than sex, but I know people will think I'm weird!!

Okay that is all on today's update. I'm making plans to meet the 'producer kid' this weekend so we can work on that lovely song he gave to me... It wasn't even meant for me. I am truly blessed to be working with such lovely guys. It must be that 'law of attraction' stuff.

More updates to follow.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

EP diary - The first meeting

So this is the first post of the 'EP Diary': I am FINALLY working on my EP.

It has taken a LOOOOONG time for me to commit to actually DOING this. I discussed some of my doubts a while ago (I'm too lazy to find a link- sorry) and after much thought, tears and frustration I know what I want to do: The theme, sleeve, marketing plan, songs etc. I made the decision to do this and I am sticking to it.

So today (after taking care of day job stuff) I went to meet with the second producer. The first is obviously that 'producer kid' that I've been working with for a long time. The reason I have a second producer is because 'producer kid' is really good at a certain genre and I believe it would be unfair on us both for me to expect him to do what he may not necessarily be good at. Imagine me asking John Mayer to produce a hip hop track (although I hear he is provided the concept for Common's 'Go'). So in order to be able to do the best for us all I decided to take on a second producer.

I met up with him today and we spoke for a while. We spoke about our expectations, deadlines etc and it was very successful. So I am thoroughly excited!! I will keep you posted on the gwanin's of the EP. Big tings are gwan!! BIG TINGS!!

P.S I haven't forgotten about that major decision post. It's just taking a bit of time to write and the situation keeps getting complicated.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

100th post - we are growing indeed

Oh wow 100 posts!!!

I was going to post something about decisions... I'm faced with a very tough decision and I'm not sure what to do. But before I talk about that I just want to say:

HAPPY '100th post' my baby blog!!! Look how far we've come... From nobody read this baby to having a few people pass through here once in a while. 100 may not be such a large number, but it is to me. I didn't know how much I would enjoy this blogging business. it's a lot of fun and it's a great way for my friends to catch up on the latest happening in my life.

Like when my car was 'in the sea' or my first live performance and even the time Marcee and I tried our hand at being vegetarians LOL!! We are still eating less meat. We just haven't quite reached the 'no meat in our diet' stage, but we are eating healthier food.

I've also accepted that I cannot post something everyday. When I first started out I used to feel so bad for not posting anything, but now a 100 posts into this I'm okay with not posting everyday. I do it when I can and when I want to :)

Aaah.... Maybe one day we'll have regular readers LOL! Until then I will keep at this blogging. business.

Gotta run (will talk about that major decision tomorrow)

Monday, September 10, 2007

My dads BIG day!!!

To Pops:

I guess you've heard it all from me, but I still think it's important for you to know this. I will forever be grateful for having a great father like you. When I was little I wanted to marry a man like you because you were a super-hero. Now that I'm all grown up and I know that you are not a super hero. I want to marry a man like you: a mere mortal who performs miracles with love. I am the woman that I am because of you. Long after you are gone, you will still be with me because love is eternal. I am so proud of the person that you are, you truly inspire :)



Your biggest fan and only daughter

For Marceee

Today my girl is a BIG GIRL!! She is all grow-ed up and has a paying job.

She has been through some rough times the past year and a half. It's hard to see someone you love go through a rough time. I was feeling so helpless. I just wanted to make all the hurt, doubt and confusion go away. But only time and experience could 'heal' her.

Today Marcee had her first day at a 'paying job' (all the other jobs were paying jobs but all based on commission) and she survived it. I work by myself, so I had forgotten how nerve wrecking it can be to start a new job. She is bad with names as well, so when she came back from work and I asked who everyone was she looked at me with a blank face and said 'I'm still trying to figure it out'. I love that girl so much.

Tonight we drink to Marcee's first day at her 'big girl' job. Hopefully the next time we toast she will be buying the alcohol.

She is really pretty... When she is not acting like a fool :)

Sunday, September 9, 2007

It's been too long

I CANNOT believe I've been away for so long!!! Things have been unspeakably busy and crazy. After the 'chasing cars' incident I decided to do a little soul searching. This is what I discovered from my soul searching mission:

1. I am spending too much time and energy 'paying the bills' and not enough on making the music.

2. I love what I do, but I am not entirely sure I love where I am doing it.

3. I need to present in the moment. I spend way too much time worrying about stuff that doesn't really matter to me and way too little time 'LIVING IN THE MOMENT'.

Almost as if the universe had heard me, I was told my contract is not being renewed and I found out about other exciting job opportunities that I am looking into.

The presenter of the show I was producing left and I am currently presenting the show, while they find someone else in Jozi. So I now work 6 days a week and am making much needed music. I don't really mind the hours because I know that it's only for the month. So I'm using this month to beef up my radio knowledge as I make plans to move along.

The old me would have panicked when I found out that my contract would not be renewed, but I'm surprisingly calm. Don't get me wrong I did have a day of 'woe is me... Boo hoo hoo!" I am surprisingly okay with what is happening in my life right now.

Okay... Maybe I'm a little sad that I don't have much time to blog, but everything else is great.

I think I will make it a point to post a blog at least once a week.

P.S The Boks did us proud today. "TONIGHT WE CONQUER!" Loving it!!!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Chasing cars

I'm not sure Snow Patrol meant it the way it happened today?! I have been so distracted lately (not sure how to explain it, so I wont) and been repressing a lot of feelings because 'tough girls don't cry' right? Wrong! This morning I got out of my car and went into my office.

A few minutes later I get a call from reception saying my car 'has rolled into the sea'... I kid you not. I wasn't sure what to make of it so I went outside to go and sea my car 'in the sea'. I work right by the promenade so it could have been true. As it turns out I got out of my car without putting the hand brake up. WTF? My car started rolling into the main road and the homeless people that see me all the time pushed back into the road where it was parked and put bricks in front of the wheel to stop it from going 'into the sea'.

If that isn't a sign I don;t know what is. I got out of my car, which I always park on this 'incline' (Cape Town is one big incline) and I didn't put my hand brake up. THANK GOD for those people that pushed my car out of the main road. I shudder to think what might have happened if they weren't there.

So I'm working through those emotions as I type, because I know that it will only get worse... I've been here before and I really did myself serious harm the last time. So this time I'm going to deal with it.

Chasing cars indeed!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The day I decided to fulfil my destiny

It was earlier this year and I 'found Estelle' (or maybe she found me- whatever, so not important). The reason I say that is because I had just heard John Legend had just 'started up' his own label (Home School records) and I thought 'Yes, finally... I know that is where I'm headed'... Idealistic Carol, I had no plan but I knew that was where I was going to end up.

On my search I 'found' Estelle: the first lady of 'Homeschool'. I had no idea who she was so I went looking for her music... Not sure why, but I did it anyway. That when I found her MySpace page, if you go there please listen to 'Hey Girl'. That was the first song I listened to and I started bawling. I'M SUCH A CRY BABY!!! I cried for a good hour.

At the time I had just started a new job and it wasn't what I wanted (making music), but I had to pay 'the bills' so I HAD to stay. My soul was so 'unsettled' but the bills were paid. I heard Ms Estelle and her voice spoke to me. The song has nothing to do with me or my situation but I was so touched. Weird? now that I think about it: NO!!

I was crying because somehow by looking at Estelle I knew that following your dreams was what we should all be doing. She showed me that it was possible. I played the song over and over again. If you look, you'll see that it has been played about 18088 times. That must be mostly me HA HA HA HA HA!! Anyway so I decided to dedicate this post to the women who have made a difference and truly INSPIRED... You all know who you are:

My mommy (a phenomenal woman)

My EVERYTHING!!! This goes for the rest of my friends, I just don't have pics of you guys on my PC (Steve, Phiwi, Zoe, AK, Vuyo, Tea, Mthi, Julz, Bobo, Nix, Tae... there are too many of you)

Estelle: The lady who inspired the post and the beginning of my journey (pic's from her MSpace page)

Miriam Makeba: Welela is one of my favourite songs and Mam' Miriam is the epitome of grace :)

India Arie: She brought Brown skin 'back' and I am eternally grateful and she stayed true to herself, obviously not the average girl from the video.

Lebo Mashile: She listened to her soul and 'televised' the revolution...

Billie Holiday: God bless the child is one of the greatest songs ever written. When I grow up I want my voice to have the raw emotion that Lady Day's voice had.

Letta Mbulu: The first time I heard 'there's music in the air' I fell in love with the song and have continued to be inspired by the South African singers of that time (you don't have to be naked to be beautiful ladies)

Maya Angelou: I am humbled every time I hear this woman speak. She is phenomenal :)

Okay... I have so many more women I want to put up here. So I will put up more of the women that have helped me get here. Some of them don't even know that they are doing it and others are doing it by loving me :)