A trying day in Radio

I am truly having one of the most difficult days EVER!!

I am sitting in the office, waiting for a brief for something that airs at midnight. I went home to have pasta and a glass of wine hoping that would calm me down, came back to work feeling even worse and now I'm seething!!!! I am not sure whether I should laugh or cry. It's funny, because I asked for this information AGES ago and here I sit a few hours before broadcast and still have NOTHING!! Oh well, I guess these are the joys of radio (or not).

I'll give you an update of the Jazz Festival as soon as I can. It was lovely, by the way. I didn't get to see as many acts as I wanted to, but I did have a good time.

New show starts today.

See you at the JAZZ!!!

The Cape Town International Jazz Festival kicks off today.

The line up this year is hot (as per usual). The festival is about so much more than Jazz, the likes of Skwatta Kamp and Zola will be performing as well. Other artists include: The Manhattans, Ananda Project (Junior is excited about this one), Soul Brothers, Sergio Mendes and Jimmy Dludlu, just to mention a few. 5 stages and A LOT of performances! I will be there tonight and tomorrow- broadcasting live from the CTICC.

If you are in the area. Come over and say hello :)

Good times... Good times!

I've been DEMOTED- shock, horror!!!

There have been a lot of changes that took place in the last week. I've been meaning to give an update, but... Well, I don't know why I haven't yet. So here is what's going down.

A few days ago I decided to give up my day job. I had originally decided to take April off to finish my book and the album. So it wasn't like I just decided to do it. I knew my finances were in order and I also wasn't v happy with day job.

I got offered another show, but it was an ungodly time slot. At first I was going to refuse, because I need my beauty sleep LOL! But I took some time to think about it and it is actually the ideal time for me. And here is why:

1. I was spending way too much time on the current show. It required quite a lot from me, because it was 'prime time' and I wanted the show to have a lot of features.
2. I write better during the day, because it's quiet and day time TV is crappy (so I wont be tempted to watch infomercials for snail cream that smooths out stretch marks) and Marcee is at work as well.
3. I can see C.B more times during the week and we can get more done.
4. I wont be giving up radio, because I really do enjoy it.
5. The new show does not have as many features and it will be yet another challenge for me to take on. I love taking on challenges... Don't judge me. Some people bungee jump, this is what I do.
6. And lastly I will still have a source of income, so I wont put a strain on the savings account. I'm not even going to lie and say I don't need money. Money is good, it is helping me realise my dreams. I bought this wonderful laptop of mine with money, so now I can finish my book. I'm paying C.B to help me put this EP together with money. I'm not saying money is the end all and be all, because that is rubbish. But I'm also not going to minimise it's importance.

These are all good things for me and I'm very proud of the fact that I'm making my situation work. I'm doing what I love and I'm getting paid to do it. Yesterday I ran into a friend of mine, she asked me how things were going at work and I told her about the change. She was quite amused that I had been 'DEMOTED' (she said it very loudly many times) from prime time to graveyard. She was shocked and even more shocked that I wasn't TRAUMATISED.

You see, I have no reason to be traumatised. She was looking at my situation according to HER values and she really thought that my situation was sad. I just smiled, nodded and said in mock horror 'demoted'. At that moment I was once again reminded that people understand the world in their values and seldom every try to see the other persons perspective.

What is good for me, is not necessarily good for another person. Just like, some women choose to be in polygamous relationships. I could never do it, but that doesn't mean that I think that those women are SAD or have been 'DEMOTED' LOL! They made the CHOICE to live their lives in a certain way. The same way my friend made the CHOICE to see my situation from her perspective.

Needless to say my first thought was 'I have no business being friends with this girl'. But I realised that I need people like her in my life to remind that not everyone is like me and that sometimes people can turn your greatest victory into one big DEMOTION.

Lesson learnt (thank you very much Universe): Not everyone is going to respect/admire the choices that I have made. As long as I am happy with my choices, nothing else matters.

EP Diary - quick update

Saw C.B yesterday and had a VERY productive session. He played me a bit of what he had been working on with the 'teacup' song and I was pretty impressed. I got the inspiration for that song from listening to a song off Electric Circus and another one of Mos Def's songs.

It sounds divine. I'm working on another part for the song as well as sorting out the lyrics- YAY!!!

I also mentioned to C.B that the first song had lost it's original appeal. So we decided to strip it down and keep it as basic as possible. Just me and him playing the piano. I'm also working on another (tiny) part for the song.

I think I'm becoming more 'musical'... I feel like that doesn't make sense, but it does. I CANNOT wait till the next session.

I feel like...

A little bit of Common. Woke up this morning and just selected 'Finding Forever' and then well it felt right to keep listening to the other albums.




Been listening to:

Misunderstood - aren't we all? Nina Simone's voice makes this song even more appealing.

Southside- Kanye West is featured on this track. They both sound so ALIVE on this one. I feel like I wanna battle, but we all know that I am no emcee LOL!

Break my heart- It's cute.

The People - The first song I heard off this album and it also makes me wanna 'ignite the people like Obama...'

Retrospect for life (ft Lauryn Hill) - I loved this song before I knew that I would love this man's music so much. The older I get the more I love the song.

G.O.D (Gaining Ones Definition) ft C-Lo- Marcee made me listen to this one enough times for me to like it :)

The Light - I think I have said this before, but I could listen to that damn song ALL DAY and still love it the next day.

Come Close - Even the video is beautiful.

I am music (ft Jill Scott) - It makes you want to get up and shake the blues because it feels so damn good.

Electric Wire Hustler Flower- This song makes that (Electric Circus) album for me. I LOVE IT!! He went where most rappers would be afraid to go: the alternative route.

It's your world pt 1& 2- Made me realise that It IS my world! And of course the ever-wise Pops makes an appearance.

Go! - It took me forever to realise what this song is about... Wow!!

Be - It's a sick intro!!!

Faithful- Mr John (Legend) makes an appearance on this song. "... what if God was a her? Would I treat her the same, would I still be running game..."

The Corner - It surprises some people that I like this song, but I do!

A film called Pimp (ft MC Lyte + Bilal) - For some reason I think this track is pure comedy. I enjoy it way too much :0

The Question (ft Mos Def) - Another track that makes me feel good. No track with mos def can ever be bad.

Time Travelling (A tribute to Fela) - Need I say more? He says he was a piano player in his last life. Well I was a crazy, smoking, drinking and tough singer who sang at a speakeasy in my past life. I think I may have died young in my last life, so I'm definitely going to live longer this time around ha ha ha ha.

Pops Rap 3... All my children - How cool is Pops? Shouting out those great musicians and sharing pearls of wisdom.

A song for Assata (ft C-Lo) - It is a classic case of one mans Freedom Fighter being another mans Terrorist. Except in this case it is a true story about a WOMAN. It is because of women like this that I know my own strength.


Nice neh?

Birthday update

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Quick birthday update:

• Woke up early and exercised (who knew that I could actually do that?)
• Washed my hair and shaved my legs (with age comes great responsibility LOL)
• Marcee, Junior and I went and had breakfast at Paranga in Camps Bay.
• They gave me my gift............... Wait for it................ A 4GIG iPOD NANO. I cried, because it was truly more than I ever expected. They are amazing!!!
• The got completely spoiled with a massage, mini mani and *pedicure at Elixir spa. I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
• Went back home and played a game that they introduced me to: Mahjong Titans, while loading all my music on my new toy- YAY!!
• Then we went out for dinner and had champagne to celebrate my big day.
• 25 truly started off with a bang.

Having breakfast, even if the toast took forever to arrive.

Marcee was taking all the pics, hence none of her :(

* I had to include a picture of my toes. They have never looked so lovely.

I love this group

I bought 'Radiocontrolledrobot' and now I am going to buy 'A world next door to yours'. The Parlotones make me happy. Their music is so much fun and easy to listen to. I interviewed Kahn (lead singer) last year on my Saturday show. He was very nice and polite albeit tired.

I don't know if I could have a Parlotones music day, just yet. My collection needs to grow a bit. Below is a video of one of my favourite songs at the mo: GIANT MISTAKE. I saw it over at Eish's blog. If you haven't heard their music, do yourself and go find it... NOW!!! Okay, maybe after you watch the video.

The Parlotones - Giant mistake


GREAT TUNE!!!

A day to 25

Oh goodness, there is only a day left of 24. Did I do everything I set out to achieve almost a year ago? I don't think I'm ready for 25- it's 5 years away from 30. That's really scary!

I remember when I was 17, 25 seemed so grown up. And now that I'm a day away from it, I'm not so sure that it is. I mean, yes I pay bills, live far away from my parents (even though it's a 2 hour flight from Cape Town to Jozi), live by myself (albeit in a tiny bachelor with my best pal in the whole world), have a savings account, working on starting an NPO, writing a book, working on a self-funded EP and reading 'The 10-day MBA' (which is turning out to be fun). I still feel like an 18 year old girl just trying to figure the world out.

Do we ever really stop trying to figure the world out? Is there actually an age where people stop 'looking for answers' and just live in the moment. Just experiencing life and feeling the emotion and experience as they hit you? Maybe not.

I must admit that I have noticed one thing though: I am less critical of myself. I used to be very not-nice to myself in my teens. I really didn't care much for me, my feelings or my dreams. I was too wrapped up in what other people thought of me and getting them to like me. What I didn't know was that people already liked me but because I didn't, I couldn't see it in other people. I once heard someone say that whatever we can see in others or in the word, we already have in us. Once I started seeing the beauty in me, I began seeing it in other people and the world around me.

That isn't to say that I have learnt everything I need to. I woke up ridiculously early this morning and started reading the latest copy of O magazine (I would like to be the editor of that magazine one day- please hold me to it!) and there was an article in there about Yolanda Cuba, CEO of the Mvela Group, who is one of the youngest CEO's of a public company. The article was about believing in yourself enough to ASK FOR EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. That is something that a lot of women, present company included, struggle with. I really have a hard time asking for exactly what I want, which is weird because I have been described as 'bolshy' (something which I wasn't happy about) and as having 'balls of steel' (another description which makes me cringe).

So in my 25th year I am going to work on asking for exactly what I want. I think I have already started doing it because 4 days ago I did something VERY SCARY. It was a form of asking for what I want and realising that I deserve more. It's too soon for me to talk about it. I'm still enjoying keeping it to myself.

Wow, this pre-birthday post has gone on for too long. Goodbye 24, Hello 25!!!

Me and the wonderful 2 people who contributed to who I am: my Ma and Pa (that's what I call them). I LOVE them :)

I feel like...

A little Mos Def today... The man LOVES to sing. A singing 'rapper'. You gotta love it.

I am having a Mos Def day today. I've been listening to:

The Panties - don't judge me

Mr Nigga- I like the song, but not so crazy about the title. It makes it kind of hard to sing along.

Hey baby - on Stephen Marley's 'Mind Control' - amazing album!

Sun, Moon, Stars - makes me feel so good.

The Rape Over - this song is very unlike me, but there's something about it that really appeals to me.

Blue Black Jack - I respect the man for not letting his hip hop roots dictate to him what sounds he can experiment with. It's a great song.

Drunken Hot Girls - on Kanye's 'Graduation'. For some reason I find the song REALLY entertaining. Marcee is not as amused by it as I am, neither is my little brother. I am a strange kid.

Dollar Day-I almost feel bad for dancing to this song, because the lyrics aren't 'happy'. I guess this is a thinking man's song LOL!

Ms Fat Booty- How could I not listen to this song. I'm listening to it right now. I never get tired of this song.

He always looks like he is about to smile (when he is not smiling LOL). It's been a good Mos Def day :)

It's a wonderful wonderful life

Imagine the song 'Wonderful Life' by Black playing softly in the background while you are reading this LOL!!! I had the most amazing day today, it was pretty average by your standards I'm sure :)

• Woke up early and made a 'healthy' breakfast and a packed lunch.*


• Got to day job very early and was UBER productive.


• Came home at 2pm and worked a bit at my book.


• Did a bit of reading, while working on the harmonies for the 1st track on the EP.


• Decided to add a 6th track (time willing) to the EP.


• Sliding door was open and the sun was shining on the spot where I was sitting, had a little bit of Häagen-Dazs (strawberries and cream) to cool my self off. YUMMY!


• Watched 7de laan... Yes, I DO enjoy it.


• Then made healthy supper while drinking a glass of red wine and talking to my best-friend-in-the-whole-world.

I had the most relaxing day. I am really blessed to be able to work the hours that I do and still have time to do what I love (while eating YUMMY ice-cream). I'm gonna try and hang on to this great feeling and wake up early tomorrow morning and exercise. GO TEAM!!

*See how good I've been:

The week that was

I was very productive this week:

1. Did much needed work on the 1st track for EP (see post below).
2. Little brother moved out and into the place he has been waiting for. I dropped him off this afternoon and I miss him already... This too shall come to pass LOL!
3. Went to Cavendish (mall in Claremont) for the first time in AGES... very uneventful.
4. Did a whole lot writing- the book is also coming along nicely. I am starting to see the WHOLE story, as opposed to a bunch of characters taking me through the motions.
5. Went to Spur on Saturday night and they had a... (wait for it) 'waiting list'. ha ha ha ha. Hilarious! We sat in a room near the hotel and waited for people to leave. it was full of parents and their kiddies, most of whom were celebrating their birthdays- never wanna hear the happy birthday song (Spur style) for a long time.
6. Practised piano and guitar for an hour- just did that for 4 days instead of 5... SUE ME!!
7. I tried something new and took a different route while driving. I'm SOOO TERRIFIED of getting lost that I NEVER want to different routes. Yay me!!!
8. Got 2 days off from day job, because of the cricket. SCORE!
9. Had my second last Saturday morning show- oh how I will miss waking up at ungodly hours to make my 6-9 (am) radio show.
10. Decided not to let the negative things around me bother me so much. I tend to give those things WAY too much power. I've been doing it for a week and it has made a major difference.
11. I have meditated every night except on Saturday, because I fell into a Spur-food induced coma LOL!
12. I'M GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE!!!

EP Diary - 1st track grows

I met with C.B (producer) on Friday and we had a good session:
Put down rough vocals and harmonies for the first song.
Played him a bit of the new (3rd song)- I'm REALLY excited about this one.

This EP needs to be done by May- eeeeeeek! I was feeling a little nervous, but then I figured once we get this first track down things will go much quicker. This first track requires for both C.B and I to learn more about each other and each others styles.

I'm meeting up with him on Tuesday. YAY!!!

Friday night movie

Tonight I watched 'Running with scissors'... Wow!! I think I better get the book because I get the feeling that it might be much better. I'm not saying didn't like the movie. I really did, but the book might have more to offer.

Go and hire the DVD if you're into DRAMA!!!

Birthday talk

All this birthday talk has me very EXCITED!!! There are 11 days till I say goodbye to 24 and step into 25.

Will it (25) fit perfectly or will I have to grow into it. Will it be as snug as 24 or will it be a little itchy until I adjust a few things? We'll have to wait and see. I don't even know what I want for my birthday. I just know what I want to achieve by Dec '08. And it is A LOT. A lot, but do-able.

YAY!!! 11 days till 25.

Today Hip Hop grows up

Today our guy Common turns 36. HAPPY BIRTHDAY COMMY COM!!!

Just the other day I said that Hip Hop seems to be refusing to grow up and then my girl said 'what about Mr Common Sense?'. I guess there are really positive things about Hip Hop like Talib, Mos Def (Cabby Cab), Kanye, Last Emperor, The Roots and so many others who realise that refusing to move forward is rejecting life itself. We are nothing without evolution!!

I'm not delusional either, I know that these guys are not perfect but I appreciate that they do not insult the music by harping on about hoes, rims, gangsters, VIP etc on all their tracks. Today Common turns a year older (as does Hip Hop- even though it's not Hip Hop's birthday today), so we say HALALA!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Look how far we've come :) Ha ha ha ha ha. I had to laugh at some of these pics.

A day with John Mayer

Besides the music I played during my show this morning, all I have listened to today is John Mayer. Crazy, but true. Something about his music makes it okay for me to feel. Regardless of what the emotion is, I feel like it's okay for me to feel it for what it's worth.


Exhausted track (because the repeat button is my friend) - Come back to bed


Exhausted track 1- Stop this train
Exhausted track 2- I'm gonna find another you
Exhausted track 3- Vultures

I need to get my hands on 'Room for squares'...

When do you call it quits?

This month (all 11 days of it) and last month have been a little tough. I am in a position where I feel like I'm not being appreciated. Not only that I think... No! I KNOW that I'm being treated badly. People who know me will be very surprised that I am even in this situation, because if I don't like something I call it quits and move on. I don't believe that life should be a constant struggle.

After all my years of 'I don't like this sh&%, so I'm leaving'. I find myself elbow deep in s%&t that I don't like and I feel like I'm stuck. I can't be too specific, but all I can say is that this 'soul hurting' stuff is also helping me with my EP. This EP is my first major step in this journey. I have been making cute baby steps and now I'm taking my first big girl step. I don't want anything to interfere with that. At the same time I feel like this situation I've put myself in is draining me. I don't have the energy to do a lot of things. It's counter-productive... In a way.

In a book I read (by Dr John F. Demartini) he says we always have a choice, either:
Do A
Do B
Do Both
Or none of them

That's 4 choices and I'm still confused. When is enough, enough? Should I just bite the bullet and carry on for another 6 months? At what cost?

When I started this journey I said that I was willing to go where no one else was willing to go, do whatever it takes and it seems I'm doing it. It's not fun, but I'm doing it. I guess I am the only person that will know when to cal it quits. Whether or not I actually do that is another story.

The week that was

This week went by pretty quickly and I managed to get quite a bit done as well.

1. Have been doing an hour of guitar + an hour of piano each day- YAY!!!
2. Didn't do guitar or piano this wknd though (brain needs a rest).
3. Had Sushi last night.
4. I am besotted with a song on Common's 'Electric Circus'. The song is called Electric Wire Hustler Flower. Not sure why, but it makes me wanna put my headphones on and take a walk on the promenade and just be alone with my thoughts.
5. Said for the first time on air that the Saturday show will be no longer at the end of the month. I'm a little sad, but also relieved because I can actually say it now.


6. Saw a movie on Saturday: Jumper... Uhmm the 'effects' were spot on, the story line needed a little more work and that is where the movie failed me. It seemed like a rehearsal for the real movie. Even Marcee wasn't impressed and she isn't even that critical of movies.


7. Started writing a new song and it's coming along very nicely. I'm thinking of adding a little bit of 'hip hop' to this one... I can't really explain it. I guess you'll have to wait till May.


8. You will notice that I have committed to a release month - MAY. I'm not sure on what day though. I will only know that in April :)


9. I finished Suze Orman's book (Women and Money) it was very interesting and it made me look at my relationship with money. I am already working on saving myself and my money ha ha ha ha. Will let you know how that is going. I had already started saving, but now I am more informed ;)
   
10. Marcee was a sickling this week. Dr booked her off for 3 days, but she is much better now. I don't know how many times I told her to go and see a Dr, but NOOOOOOO!!! She never listens to me.
11. Interviewed HHP on Saturday morning show. WHAT A LOVELY GUY!!!! He make you wish the interview would never end. I respect how real he is too ;)

This made my Sunday morning

I would not have been able to keep a straight face

Little brothers ARE good for something

Stretching Marcee's new shoes :)

Such pretty feet for a boy ha ha ha ha. I guess I will never outgrow dressing my little brother up ha ha ha ha!!!

What I miss about a 'traditional' job

Work parties. Oh, how I miss the good times.

I work by myself because the main office for our radio station is in Johannesburg and I have my own office here in Cape Town. So I don't get to hang out with all my colleagues. That being said I don't REGRET leaving advertising.

I am happy with my 'new' job in radio. It's not where I want to end up (OBVIOUSLY) and this is why I have this blog to share my journey. This is a journey that I am most proud to be taking. I am scared and sometimes emotional when I think about how far I've come and how far I still have to go.

The week that was

I have been MIA again... There has been lots happening and I was also ill during the wknd.

1. Met up with C.B (producer) and that first track is sounding very nice, a lot more 'old school' than I anticipated, but nice.
2. Finished reading a very interesting book Capitalist N*#$er. WOW! I enjoyed most of it, it was a real eye opener. Definitely changed the way i look at the world and myself. WOW!!I just couldn't put it down.
3. Little brother is still alive and has to stay in my TINY apartment, for another month till res opens up. The reason i say he is still alive is because he does things that I simply don't allow in my small space. Initially I was being a good host, but I'm slowly morphing into INSANE BIG SISTER.
4. Missed another one of Bridget's get together's. She's going to start thinking that I am avoiding her, when really the last 3 wknds have been intense: emotionally, physically and mentally.
5. I got my finances in order- started reading Suze Orman's book (Women and money). Funny, she was on Oprah this afternoon, talking about the same book. NICE!
6. I started eating junk again and then stopped. I really am addicted to the 'bad stuff', but I am learning how to practise self control.
7. I ordered something from Mr Delivery and they didn't DELIVER!! Perhaps the name was a little misleading. I assumed that they would ACTUALLY DELIVER the food that I had ordered. Funny that!
8. have resumed my guitar lessons- with me, the book and the DVD and so far so good. Fingers are a little sore again, but not enough for me to stop. Music gives me way too much joy?
9. Oh... I broke one of the strings on my guitar and then had to walk to music store (which isn't far from home) because car was in for service. String wasn't expensive, but the tuner (that I had not planned on buying) was. DAMMIT! It does help a LOT though ;)
10. Plans for NPO are coming along nicely, worked a lot on that. It will be registered by the end of this month.
11. Paid a traffic fine today and it felt PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
12. Took the car in for annual service. I can't believe I've had my little Jazz for more than a year now. She is so good to me, that when the car payments are taken from my account I don't even complain. Having a car has made a HUGE difference in my life.
13. Marcee passed her LEARNERS... it's still a big deal for us :)

That's it!!!