Dear drunk man

I hope this letter finds you hung over and feeling like a doos.

I wanted to share some of my feelings with you. I am not sure at what point of the evening you or your friends think it is okay to interrupt 'girls evening', by coming over to our table and asking us questions that we are not interested in dignifying with an answer. Just in case you woke up with a serious case of 'memory loss', allow me to remind you. 'Are you gals looking for company?' 'Do you mind if we join you?' 'Howzit girls, why are you sitting here by yourselves?' These questions are seemingly 'innocent', but what makes them offensive is that you and your drunk buddies are shouting them from the other side of the bar. Or, even worse as you sit down next to one of us.

Because we are out to have a good time with each other, we will NOT be forced to get loud and forceful by telling you to leave. So we ignore you. On a good night you will walk away mumbling something about us being 'sour bitches' and go bother some other 'girl' who is dying to have you spit on her while forced to smell your foul beer breathe as you 'charm' the pants off her. If we are lucky enough to experience you on a 'bad' night you and your one annoying friend will stay and continue to insult us with glances at our 'racks' and 'subtly' ask us if we are single i.e. 'Winter is terrible, especially at night. Do you have a human blanket keeping you warm?' followed by a wink and lick of the lips.

Last night when you grabbed 'my sexy arse' as I was walking to the ladies room, did nothing but annoy me. I guess the general rule among you and your equally sloshed buddies is 'F&^% effort' when you are drunk because she is most likely as drunk as you. NO!!! Not all of us go out at night to get sloshed and score randoms. What is this? Tri-Varsity?

As if you aren't enough of a nuisance while I am having a good time with my friends: You then want to walk to your car and ignore the traffic light that is red for you and Green for me. When I almost miss your drunk ass with my car, you hurl abuse at me and all your stupid friends high five you. I will also let you know that those girls you almost fell on, on your way out of the club/restaurant are as equally unimpressed with your behaviour as I am.

I, like you want to have a good time. All I am asking is tomorrow night when you go out and get sloshed, please remember this letter. I am not against drinking. Please believe me I am not. I just think that we don't have to make the night so unpleasant for other people. So when you are drinking, perhaps it's a good idea to stop when you start thinking that the women at the venue are in dire need of a conversation with you.

Thanks
Tired woman