When your job hates you

What do you do? When your job makes sure that you are hardly eating or sleeping? When it torments you like a school bully and you give in like a wimp... Dreading the day ahead when you open your eyes and realise that the Grammy you were holding so tightly is actually a handful of Marcee's hair (who is incredibly unimpressed that I have caused a bald spot on her beautiful head). What do you do when your job is requiring so much of you that you can't do what you love (MUSIC)??


Truth is the day job has been sucking me dry lately (for many reasons I CANNOT discuss here) and my music is suffering. I have so many songs in my head, but I don't have 15 minutes to sit at my crappy 2nd hand keyboard and work on these melodies in my head. So far I've put down 3 songs and I NEED to put more down. I don't want to be great at the day job, get a raise (ha!) and have money to spend on music (studio sessions, better keyboard etc) but not have TIME to make music. The thought of not having time for my music has me in tears EVERY night.


I also don't want to quit the day job and be SOO broke that I lose my car, never have any food, almost getting evicted and having to sell the crappy 2nd hand keyboard... Okay I know that is a little exaggerated but you get what I mean.


I'm struggling to find a balance and I need HELP!! Seriously I'm so unhappy about my situation right now. I feel like such a whiny wimp for even admitting that I'm not coping... I'm hardcore like that. I've been through worse (believe me) and I know that the universe and God will never give me something that I cannot handle... But I'm feeling weak and I need a little bit of advise.


What is a girl to do??? Tell me what you think :0)


How can I learn to love what I do so that I can do MORE OF WHAT I LOVE?